Christmas is over and I'm looking forward to New Year. Spent Christmas with my family and I'm pretty much contented with the "solemn" celebration that we had. I think I've matured. It was the first xmas that I felt happy and contented by the fact that my family is with me and that I'm given 4 days off from work (this one is actually a big dealbecause I'm hating WORK! hehehe for the fuckin nth time!).

Even though xmas is over, I still haven't figured out what I wanted-- material wise. I like a lot of things but somehow I know it doesn't really matter if I have them or what.

If given a christmas wish, I want to spend xmas in another country -- probably in Japan. hehe I even asked a goooood friend if we can spend xmas there. Crazy I know! hehehe

I have this endless feeling that I just want to get away. I've been looking at fashion blogs not just because of the clothes these people are wearing but I envy the FREEDOM that they all seem to have. Even though they're normal people who have normal jobs, they exude an aura of being accepted for who they are.

Looking at my life, I've worked hard to fit in and silenced my rebellious self because I have a feeling that it is somehow destructive/dangerous to the people I value. Now that I'm writing this down, it's actually a long time since I've really shared a piece of myself again in cyberspace.

I'm looking forward to freeing myself a bit more in the coming year. I am a prisoner to my own self. I know I have tons of choices but I decided to stay in my own built prisoner cell. It's going to take some time I guess. I'm taking it 6 months at a time...