Reality Check!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007 How will you know if it's time?  Frustrated, envious, unsure. Do you know where all the good men are hiding? I received a big bouquet of roses today. People were looking at me as I hurriedly hopped into the shuttle. Maybe some were envious because of it while maybe some are laughing at how I hardheartedly handled the bouquet. I am just like any other girl. I must admit it is very flattering to receive flowers from anyone and I can’t help but wonder why I feel like there is something wrong. It’s probably because for the past 2 years I have been trying to change my path. But just when I thought I am on the right track, just when I was hoping that I have finally found a good site in the middle of the desert, I then realize that another traveler has already spotted that lot and is now about to assemble a tent on it. It was raining hard and I was walking with a friend. He (take note: HE) is one weird guy. I find him very religious (and smart) and I am in denial that I enjoy his company and that I like him (sh*t). I remember my Theology professor would often tell us stories about her husband and how he’s not her type. Well this guy is so not my type. He’s not the typical Chinese looking guy that makes me swoon. He doesn’t dress well. He is the exact opposite of what I have in mind. Why he caught my attention? He’s such a gentleman. Soft-spoken. Unusual. All my admirations have to end here. He has a girlfriend for 5 years and he’s getting married next year. And now I am frustrated, envious, and unsure – again. How? How will you know when to get married? How will you know when he is the one? How will you know if you are the one? How will you know when it is veneration? How will you know when it is authentic? How will you know when to get out of your shell? How will you know when to believe? How will you know when it will arrive? How will you know when it will end? How will you know when it is fate? How will you know when if it is pure luck? How will you know when it is time? 
Saturday, October 20, 2007 My earthly life. Obscurity My real name. Wholly unto myself I exist. I wrap no soul In my embrace. No mentor worthy Of my calibre Have I. I am all alone Between failure And frustration. I am the red thread BetweenNothingnessAnd Eternity. by: Sri Chinmoy
Sunday, October 14, 2007 I took another big bite of my shawarma. It has been so long since I sat there and eat my favorite sandwich. I would have eaten at the Batcave but eating there without my friends will be blunt. I miss our pancit canton days. It’s just plain pancit canton (sometimes with egg) but the stories, laughter, troubles or even rage that we share made every fork – full of this plain noodles unmatched the exotic cuisines of Class A restaurants. It has been half a year already since I graduated. I’m now about to leave my first job and is now looking for my second stint but my adventures with my friends seemed like it just happened yesterday. It was truly my most treasured part of my life. I would be happy if I can rewind all the days that passed and go through hellish times of my life and share again the euphoric ones with them. I’m almost done with my food and I’m off to go home again. I’ll sleep, work, and look for a job but the next time I’ll sit in this spot again, I hope to be taking big bites of shawarma with my friends.
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