Reality Check!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010 ----------- !! DO I LOOK LIKE A BAND-AID? >( hmf!! 
Monday, November 29, 2010 -sigh- I don't know how to start this entry. :( I saw a picture as I was scanning through some things in my facebook account and it's actually the reason why I'm upset tonight. I'm freakin' and stupidly jealous. :( Jealousy... this is a natural feeling... tho it's not a rational one. I'm not even in the right position to feel this way so I know I better keep my mouth shut. Maybe I'm just over analyzing things.. but is it my fault if my course and my job trained me to be analytical?? I hate reading body gestures in pictures because I know that my assessment is almost always accurate. :( Stop being jealous my poor self. Stop it. At times like this, I'd rather just focus on career and other interests. Whenever I give importance to a certain friendship or relationship of any kind.. it just leaves me disappointed. :( Stop it. :( You've always known you're susceptible to bullshits so stir clear from whoever promises you whatever. It's easy to promise stuff. It's a lot easier to break that promise. It's a different story when they lie or even to keep certain stories on the low. It's a lot easier if some things won't be mentioned.. so don't expect anything even if you hear the greatest of all things. Wait for the action. Concrete Action. No action, then it's all crap. People come and GO cleo. Remember that. No one is worth over your value as a person. Just breathe. Disappear tomorrow. Be silent. Just breathe because the day after tomorrow or even years and years after... you'll realize you're all by yourself.. but you're still doing fine.. ..or maybe even great. Calm down now. :(
Friday, November 26, 2010 I figured I want so much to focus and set my career on track. Travel. Be free. I've a few years more to do that before I finally say.. it's time to "settle". Will I ever get to settle down? I love the world and I'm curious about everything (well, ALMOST). I get bored easily.. can I really settle down? I'm too young to think about this. Let me talk to myself and take it one day at time. I like being spontaneous. I love NO routines. Will I feel this way a few years from now? I will definitely change. Will it be good or will it break someone else's heart? Or.. will it break once again? ..Oh well. Too much lovey dovey stuff are making me sick tonight. Let's talk about work... ....arts........... ...................................freedom........................................................................... ....let's talk about the childhood I never had............................................................. ......let's talk about my secrets..................................... why my defenses are up............. .............................................................. .............................. ........... let's talk about the things I'll never talk about.......from there I'll know if you can really find ME. Not me physically... find my heart..... it slips away easily. I fear the fact that absence makes the heart grow fonder.... BUt After some time... I know................................................................my heart........................................................................................................... in the long run.............................................. after a few years............................. after a few months................................................................after a few weeks................................ my heart is programmed to easily forget. In case it forgets.................................................................... can you make it remember once again?
Friday, November 19, 2010 Saw this in someone else's blog. I just want to re-post this. Some applies to me. Some don't 1. Get kissed in the rain 2. Have that one hot kiss where your pressed against the wall 3. Have a guy that thinks you’re the world 4.. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs 5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear 6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each others eyes 7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away. 8. When you’re not with your guy he’s all that you can think about 9. Wearing his jacket and every time you breath in, his scent surrounds you 10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get. 11. A guy who squeezes your hand 12. A boy that says he loves you and means it 13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window 14. A guy who is loyal 15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it. 16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead. 17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable…not hot, fine, or sexy 18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look. 19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile 20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends 21. A boy that tells you everything honestly 22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family 23. A guy that will always let you win 24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against 25. A guy who calls you at night just to say ‘hi’ and see how your day has been 26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better 27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you when you’re sad, even if you’re quiet 28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with 29. A boy that will just randomly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you 30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life. 31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance. 32. A guy who wouldn’t mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up. 33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him. 34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he’s washing your worries/troubles away. Question is Is there such guy??
Monday, November 15, 2010 ---this I should always remember :) Dear beat from work but managed to use a "happy" disposition until I left the office. Gosh. I wonder why my world revolves around my work and extra curricular actvities (read: belly dance and styling). I guess I like it better this way. I'm not so focused with the corporate world. Gosh, I miss shopping. I want to buy a lot of stuff but I have to keep in mind my priorities. Oh well... tomorrow's another day.. another chance to make my life better.... Btw, what's the most effective way to help someone cheer up?? I dunno why but it seems like I ran out of ways today. ??
Saturday, November 13, 2010 Change is constant. Our experiences gradually change us. I wonder what will happen next. I try my best not to get attached to things. There are days when I manage to build a wall around me there are days when I fail to do so. I'll just take it one day at a time. I don't want to run so fast only to stumble. Anyway, here are some things that made me smile on different days. They've wilted and I had to throw them away. I'm not one who keeps such things but I never forget the feeling that I had when I received them.. and for that I'll always be grateful.. not for the flowers but for the intention of the giver to make me smile. :)   
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