Wednesday, December 27, 2006 I am exceptional but I am not an exception. We sat on the grass, in front of the chapel as we finally got the courage to communicate how we feel for each other. The sky was on fire. A combination of black and orange... an unlikely color at around 9:30 in the evening. The setting was perfect but what happened was the exact opposite. She likes me. Maybe even loves me. I like her too. Maybe I'm starting to love her. For her, I am exceptional. I am gifted. Intelligent. Beautiful. Naturally Good. For me, she is one great person who was able to make me believe again in the beauty of commitment. ...but she can't commit. not with me. In her eyes, I am exceptional. In my eyes, I am never an exception for heartaches. 
Monday, December 25, 2006 Here I am, back in the comforts of my room… still feeling “uncomforted”. There’s always this time of the year that I dreaded the most. It’s Christmas. I’ve always hated it. It is a reminder that there are vital things that are still missing in my life. These aspects that are lacking are magnified by this supposedly joyous season.
Monday, December 18, 2006 when you're dreaming with a broken heart the giving up is the hardest part she takes you in with your crying eyes then all at once you have to say goodbye
Saturday, December 16, 2006 Capturing each scene … And reminiscing every moment… I have treasured from within. In days when I am lucky to live within her memory, I failingly gaze directly through the mirror of her soul - The windows of her innocence Which consistently reflects the pangs of my frustration. As each moment withers and so does my spry remarks. Leaving me foolishly wordless… Dreamily beaming before her. I dare not reach out… Nor touch her hand and feel her skin. I dare not try to make a reality out of this trance… For fear of dying without bliss. But dare to correct me if you can… For my nirvana may lie upon her bounds. I could not write a worthy poem tonight. Oh what I would not give… For these words to reach her… And touch her already reserved heart. I could not hope for anything more than this But for my words to reach the depths of her mind… To feel what I feel, To uncover the sentiments hidden beneath my fears. And to nourish a hope, I have long been planning to kill.-11:33pm dec.3 *I hope not to be crushing on anyone for the next decade. Not Italia nor the Promdi. It'll make my life a little less colorful. It'll make me live in silence. Yes, silence... it's what I need.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 God seems to tell me that even if I am always confused and I have a lot of things in mind, if I choose to do the right things, then I'll always be at the right path. For the past days, reality seemed to creep in. I have never perceived the world in such a negative way. maybe I was just disappointed - with what was happening. I have always been idealistic and I never really expected that the people I love and give importance to can be a little too self centered. I have been having a hard time digesting the fact that not everyone will choose to do the right thing and it has affected me to the extent that I lost my desire to work. I forgot that I have to "WORK WITH A PURPOSE". I forgot that I used to be passionate about life. What is there about his word? ...that makes me want to do good things and be different from the others? Why am I gravitated towards his word despite the fact that I have the freedom to do whatever?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006 --quite different. had a haircut. got bangs. I THINK I'M TANNED. im noisier. well, still picky. oh, I already watch what I eat (something very new...but I still eat a lot). More independent I guess. Happier. Lazy ass. more impulsive. loving myself more. mmm... what else? How about you? what's new with you deary? ...oh, im a bit more crazy nowadays.
Sunday, December 03, 2006 I've realized one thing (and it may sound so conceited): I'm fun to be with. After dating myself (yes, I watched a flick by myself), I realized that it's not really a pain to hang around the mall, eat, and watch a good movie by myself. I've actually enjoyed it (and I hope I ain't turning asexual or something. harhar.). I think it's better than going out with someone boring. It's an unusual pick but I decided to go to Market Market yesterday. I've been there I think only twice or thrice. It was packed with people... mostly joli ones (sorry for the term). There were lotsa stores and I enjoyed going in and out of each store by myself. Walang istorbo and also no KJ with me. I was able to buy a few things for myself. Wow... It was fun!! :P I was also able to contemplate a bit. Now I've really absorbed the fact that I'm single and I'm enjoying it. It's a good thing right? Well, anyway... I'm planning to save a portion of my allowance so I can really shop before Christmas. There's this leopard skin mules and it's only worth a few pesos. wow...
Saturday, December 02, 2006
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