“I can’t live, if living is without you…la la la”. I don’t know why when I heard this song the word ACCEPTANCE suddenly entered my mind. …Maybe it’s because I am on the verge of accepting facts or choosing to do something about some “happenings”.

Acceptance – is it a sign of death or of a new beginning?

I remember a friend telling me that when I can’t do anything about a certain situation, all that’s left to do is to accept what’s happening. I kind of disagree with her point because I’ve always believed that we all have the power to change and direct things the way that we want it to be. Now, I don’t really know what to believe in.

I viewed acceptance as a sign of hopelessness – not being able to do anything about a situation… not being in control and giving up with what life caters me. When one learns to accept things, it’s like… death. …It’s like a sign that tells you to stop with whatever. We don’t have to stop. There is always hope (well, that was my belief! Golly geeze!) We’re all powerful and yes, we are in charge of what’s happening to us. Our decisions … actions… lead us to consequences. Why do we have to wait and accept things when we can do something about it?

…But then…

What if acceptance is just a process of rebirth? What if acceptance is a sign of life? Mmm… It’s like… you have to do nothing about a situation except to swallow it… feel it… be trapped in it until the situation tires itself and decides to leave. …What if acceptance is the only way out? What if acceptance is the key to sanity?

* I honestly don’t know what to believe in. I don’t know if I should accept the things that are happening to me or if I have to play with it. It’s so hard to be in control. Sometimes, I just want to escape from all these mixed emotions. It’s actually an everyday struggle. It’s like an unfinished business that kept on hunting me though I know that it’s really finished. WTF am I saying?! Golly. I am still trapped with yesterday and I am struggling with today because whenever yesterday eats me up, I get frustrated… I get scared to face the memories that tomorrow will bring.