Such an insensitive girl. Clearly, the person you are referring to is not a bit interested in you. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Otherwise, it would seem as if you're forcing yourself to be liked/loved by that person. True love doesn't need a push, it just happens. Everything should fall right into place. But if it doesn't then it probably isn't meant to be. Love should be unsolicited. You don't ask for it or work hard to achieve it. --Posted by Anonymous to Reality Check! at 7/26/2005 05:56:11 PM

- Yes, very insensitive indeed. Thank you. I've detached myself these past weeks from that stranger because I want to evaluate what I feel....

I broke up with someone that I really love and I didn't give myself a chance to CRY over her. It's probably why I was so devastated when this stranger came around and let me feel that she'll always be there. I got confused between her act of caring and my illusion that there's probably a potential that...uh... we could be one(?). That glass of illusion is now broken, deary. That stranger deserves someone else... and I know that someone else is not me.. It will never be me. Like what you've said, it isn't meant to be. I was just under "cathexis" or something when I thought that I love her. You know, Despite of our differences... she's still beautiful in my eyes... I still love her... but only as a friend. The issue is now clear.

All's clear now except for a few things about my x. The situation is complicated. I've learned that "Holding on" is easy though it requires a lot of work. You fight for whatever reason that you have just to keep the person."Letting go" is harder. You let go because you know that that person is not worth your love/tears/whatever. You let go because you start to think about yourself. "Holding on without asking anything in return" is the hardest. This is the hardest and most painful (well, at least for me).

I am stubborn and persistent and I'll always be. I am holding on to a love and I am not asking for my x to reciprocate that. I realized that I love my x so much. She's not as great as the other people I have met but whenever we're togther...you know... that "moment"...has always been perfect (ok.. close to being perfect). I'm not saying this because I obviously love her but... our time together has always been the best. Even though it's all over between us... I still have the right to love her. I'll be excercising that no matter what people may say. I am whole now (almost...The glass will be full in just a few more weeks maybe). I don't really need her just to fill that empty spot in me. I am loving her right now because that is the decision I made - my final decision. A decision that I've decided to grab knowing that I will be hurt along the process of loving her. I don't see it as a loss. Though I am quite struggling, I see it as something that'll bring out the best in me. Why? Because I know that I won't stop learning. I won't ever try to face life. I will be great.

This is love.