I’m so happy that I’m back in the comforts of my room. It’s not easy being a “HIDALGO”, it is actually a burden. The Hidalgo is a set of fairly wealthy people who requires a lot from simple beings like me. They’ve been forcing me to socialize and whenever I fail to do that, they call me “anti-social”. Maybe they just want me to be learn and be exposed but I can mingle with anyone it’s just that I’m very picky. I only mingle with GENUINE people. I see no point in interacting with the FAKES … I’ll only get fake smiles, fake compliments, and fake relationships.

The last time I went to La Union was when I was getting my heart mended while trying to divert my attention to my family. Just last night while I was on my way back to Manila, I realized that my heart did not mend at all. I just closed it and now I don’t know if I can still open it. I’m still afraid of getting committed to the extent that I drive people away. What is the cure for this? How will it be cured?

Maybe I’m still struggling with the reality that nothing is permanent in this life. The death of Lolo, the strong relationships that have ended, and the mere expiration of canned food… testify that things change and all ends. The battle with reality is probably what makes some people depressed. If nothing is nothing is permanent in this life, what then is the point of working hard? Engaging in a relationship? Striving for success? Living?

My answer: Maybe it’s man’s hunger for a moment of happiness.