2 words: DRESS APPROPRIATELY. A friend told me that yesterday. We were just chatting over the phone and I told her that my Uncle sort of scolded me because I was wearing slippers in his office (geezy geeze!). Anyway, I was surprised when she blurted out those words. You know, I felt bad. Really bad. I know it’s just a shallow thing. I mean, she’s just being honest… being straightforward. The problem was… she was TOO straightforward. The manner she blurted out those words is just damn annoying.

I used to think that I’m a good dresser. I believed that I look good in almost anything that I wear (haha! Airhead! Talk about confidence! Geeze!). I’ve always trusted my taste in fashion. Some people even ask me what to wear. Back then they were even asking me to design their gown (for their prom, debut or whatever). A friend asked me to assist and style models in this fashion show. They liked what I’ve done that they even offered me a job for my OJT (which is next year pa…). NOW… I don’t know. I ain’t mad. I guess my confidence was just affected by that criticism. Don’t get me wrong… I know how to handle criticisms. This is just different and besides, the criticism came from a very special person and I never thought that of all people, she’ll be the one who’ll comment on what I wear. It’s a good thing I was able to let go of the “loathing” when she asked me to call her again because if I was still annoyed… then I’ve probably affronted whatever fashion blunders that she has and I’m sure she’s not gonna like it (But I’m not really like that… I’m bitchy only when provoked! HA!).

I’m not really the type who makes fun of people or even point to them that they have a poor fashion sense. I hate that. I’ve always hated that. Fashion is an expression of one’s self and I guess it’s really none of our business if this or that person dresses up in a different way (or even compare the way they dress up to ourselves or even to the general). I dun really care if they look “bahay na bahay”, too “on the go”, “gangster get-up” or even trying hard “rocker”. It is for the simple reason that IT IS THEM. I just know how to r-e-s-p-e-c-t and look what’s behind those funky fabrics.

I’m not mad with that special person. I understand her point. It’s quite funny because I was sooo annoyed that I bought 2 fashion magazines right away. Hahaha! I just had to look at those clothes and see if I’m really behind. Geeze. Well, I’m not. I just don’t feel like dressing up lately. Maybe I’ve gotten used to the “dress down policy” of my x. HA! We used to argue because of the way I dress up. She told me I was too dressy. Whatever! Now, all’s over between us… and I gotta learn to dress up again. Whirlwind! Well, I can’t wait to be really (as in purely) over my x so I can return to my old self. Right now I got 2 words: LET’S SEE! =P

mmm… got more stories…

School’s really tiring. I had a quiz. Our professor gave us a whole chapter to read and guess what? The quiz is in a form of an essay and the answer to his question (yes… QUESTION… ONLY 1 QUESTION!) can be found at the first and second page of the book! GOLLY! I studied till the wee hours of the morning! I conditioned myself that I won’t sleep unless I finished reading the whole chapter. I woke up late and was rushing in school only to find out that my teacher’s sick. She’s absent! Darn! So… I studied again until 10:10! YES! I just have to get a high mark! GOLLY GOOD GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

My back is aching. I wish someone’s here to massage my back and you know… just be here for me. She can watch me study till she falls asleep! Hahaha! No, but seriously… I think that’s sweet. I’m steady right now. Quite happy but I FEEL EMPTY. Maybe I just miss the feeling of someone taking care of me… Scolding me because it’s already late and I’m still studying or scolding me because I’m being such a geek-o. …Reminding me to drink my medicine… Sleep early… Wipe my sweat. Hug me when I’m down or whenever. …Give me unbiased advice about my issues. …Give mild censures. Someone who’ll bring out the best in me. Oh… and of course someone who’ll make me happy and love me unconditionally. –sigh- Oh well… this is life! I don’t want to find that person who’ll do those things. Let that person find me.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because

I don't know any other way of loving but this,

in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,

so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close. - Pablo Neruda

-sigh-