Frustrated, envious, unsure. Do you know where all the good men are hiding? I received a big bouquet of roses today. People were looking at me as I hurriedly hopped into the shuttle. Maybe some were envious because of it while maybe some are laughing at how I hardheartedly handled the bouquet. I am just like any other girl. I must admit it is very flattering to receive flowers from anyone and I can’t help but wonder why I feel like there is something wrong. It’s probably because for the past 2 years I have been trying to change my path. But just when I thought I am on the right track, just when I was hoping that I have finally found a good site in the middle of the desert, I then realize that another traveler has already spotted that lot and is now about to assemble a tent on it.

It was raining hard and I was walking with a friend. He (take note: HE) is one weird guy. I find him very religious (and smart) and I am in denial that I enjoy his company and that I like him (sh*t). I remember my Theology professor would often tell us stories about her husband and how he’s not her type. Well this guy is so not my type. He’s not the typical Chinese looking guy that makes me swoon. He doesn’t dress well. He is the exact opposite of what I have in mind. Why he caught my attention? He’s such a gentleman. Soft-spoken. Unusual. All my admirations have to end here. He has a girlfriend for 5 years and he’s getting married next year. And now I am frustrated, envious, and unsure – again.

How will you know when to get married?
How will you know when he is the one?
How will you know if you are the one?
How will you know when it is veneration?
How will you know when it is authentic?
How will you know when to get out of your shell?
How will you know when to believe?
How will you know when it will arrive?
How will you know when it will end?
How will you know when it is fate?
How will you know when if it is pure luck?
How will you know when it is time?