My hands were getting clammy as the page started to open. I was hating. If punching the monitor would actually hurt her... damn... I would really CRUSH IT TO PIECES.

WHAT IS LACKING IN ME? WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER? IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT WHITE ENOUGH? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S WORKING ALREADY?

You see, it's still a mystery. I don't know if I'm the one to blamed with what happened. I don't know if they were just waiting for me to commit a mistake so that they can be together.

Maybe Kuting's not really the best - the ideal person. Maybe I served as a patch while she was waiting for her ideal person. Maybe I conditioned myself too much.

Everything's a MAYBE but I'm UNQUESTIONABLY hurting. How can a relationship of almost 2 years hurt me like this?

Was it just a game? Am I the only fool who took the game seriously?

I lost her. We lost the relationship... we lost the friendship. It feels as if I'm not allowed to be her friend.

Is it because of MS. JOANE? Or is it her own selfish choice?